‘I wish I didn’t go through it all by myself’: Bradley Riches opens up about coming out, autism and finding his voice
The Heartstopper and Emmerdale actor speaks to Suzi Ruffell about being non-verbal as a child, double-masking his identity through secondary school, and the book he hopes will tell neurodiverse people they're seen
By Dale Fox
Bradley Riches has opened up about growing up non-verbal, masking both his autism and his sexuality through secondary school, and the loneliness of navigating two identities without a support system, in the latest episode of Attitude Presents: Out with Suzi Ruffell podcast.
The Heartstopper and Emmerdale actor, 24, who recently won Best Soap Newcomer at the TV Choice Awards, didn’t begin using words until he was around eight or nine years old. His first was “Abba” – his attempt at his sister Amber’s name.
He goes on to describe his diagnosis at 10, subsequent speech therapy, and the after-school drama club his grandmother encouraged him to join, which gave him access to a version of himself he could not access at school.
Riches describes his secondary school years as a period of “double-masking” – suppressing both his autistic behaviours and his emerging sexuality at the same time.
“It was kind of like I’d been hit with the double whammy,” he says. “For all my life I could be there with my parents, my sister, and they were there to support me. But with this, I was like, my God, there’s no one here for me. It was a very lonely time.”
‘I wish I was more accepting of myself’
He didn’t come out to his family until he was around 19, during lockdown – after he’d already filmed his first appearance in Heartstopper. His partner of seven years, Scott, had until then been introduced to family members as his friend.
Riches also discusses the overlap between neurodivergence and queerness, the experience of masking with a therapist, and the way playing James in Heartstopper – a character navigating coming out at school – gave him a sense of the adolescence he felt he had been denied.
“I wish I was more accepting of myself,” he says. “I wish I didn’t have so many thoughts in my head. I wish I didn’t go through it all by myself because it was really lonely.”
His book, Autistically Me: How to Understand and Celebrate Our Unique Minds, publishes later this year. Riches says he hopes it will reach neurodiverse people, their families, teachers and anyone who has ever felt invisible. “Different doesn’t mean less,” he says.
New episodes of Attitude Presents: Out with Suzi Ruffell are released every Friday. Other guests confirmed so far include Munroe Bergdorf, Dan Gillespie Sells, Phil Dunning, Peter Tatchell, Megan Jayne Crabbe, Farrel Hegarty and Bradley Riches.