Bisexual hockey player conflicted over Heated Rivalry, saying it brought up past traumas and glossed over harsh reality
“I hate this show for the personal trauma I have relived through every second of watching it," says Zach Sullivan
By Aaron Sugg
Zach Sullivan opened up about watching Heated Rivalry as an out LGBTQ+ hockey player, saying the series has resurfaced past trauma and highlighted the harsher realities of his experience.
Sullivan, who made history as the first active player to come out as bisexual in 2020, said the hit gay hockey series starring Hudson Williams and Connor Storrie has left him conflicted.
Now one of only two LGBTQ+ players in professional ice hockey, alongside Jesse Kortuem, who was inspired by the series to publicly come out as gay, Sullivan said it was not authentic to his experience.
“This show has dragged up a lot of personal trauma” – Zach Sullivan on Heated Rivalry as a bisexual hockey player
“I am one of only two active male professional ice hockey players who has publicly come out as LGBTQ+, and this show has dragged up a lot of personal trauma,” he wrote on Instagram.
“It feels at times like parts of my life are being played out in front of me on the big screen. I don’t know if that makes me feel angry, upset, acknowledged, or happy. I’m deeply conflicted,” he continued.
Despite the negative feelings the six-part series has stirred, Sullivan acknowledged the important role Heated Rivalry could play for closeted LGBTQ+ athletes.
“I have no doubt whatsoever that this show will help so many struggling LGBTQ+ people” – Sullivan praising Hudson Williams and Connor Storrie
“I love this show for what it brings to the LGBTQ+ community and how it challenges the world of ice hockey to do better,” he said. On the other hand, he admitted: “I hate this show for the personal trauma I have relived through every second of watching it.”
Praising the lead actors, Sullivan said: “It felt like I was watching two very talented and undeniably handsome actors act out parts of my life. I have no doubt whatsoever that this show will help so many struggling LGBTQ+ people.”
The series explores themes that resonate strongly with the LGBTQ+ community, including LGBTQ+ relationships in heteronormative male sports, coming out to parents and teammates, and the profound relief that comes with being accepted.
Sullivan claims Heated Rivalry does not portray the homophobic, hyper-masculine reality of ice hockey
However, Sullivan highlighted the unrealistic aspects of the series, recalling moments from his own traumatic coming-out experience and life as an bisexual athlete in a toxic, hyper-masculine environment.
“I feel as if the psychological and mental trauma that a closeted LGBTQ+ athlete experiences in a hyper-masculine and overtly homophobic sport has been totally disregarded,” he said.
“The psychological impact of conformity on young male athletes: the culture, the moulding of younger players to be robotic, to change their personalities to fit in, to create another hockey bro who will only ever think or act for the greater good of the team, is ignored.”
Sullivan recalled being told from a young age to “suck it up” and “man up,” with emotions always pushed aside, meaning his sexuality was also put on the bench.
“I’m in utter disbelief at the disparity between how professional ice hockey is in real life versus how it is portrayed in the show,” he said, recalling moments such as Williams’s character Shane Hollander wearing blue laces and Storrie’s character Ilya Rozanov giving pre-game speeches.
He also recalled moments when he would not dare to look at a text from a man in the changing rooms, describing how he felt forced to isolate himself from the rest of the team.
“I genuinely hope I am proven wrong” – Sullivan hopes the series will help closeted professional athletes
His experiences as a bisexual man affected his sporting career, with a lack of sleep, lying, strained friendships, and exhaustion from trying to keep his sexuality a secret. Sullivan said the series lacked representation of his own lived experience.
“I genuinely believe that this show will be a net positive for the LGBTQ+ community,” he sad.
“However, I also strongly believe that this show will not help professional ice hockey players who are struggling with their sexuality, and I genuinely hope I am proven wrong.”
Heated Rivalry series two will be inspired by Rachel Reid’s The Long Game novel
Based on Rachel Reid’s Game Changer novel series, The Long Game – the sequel to Heated Rivalry, on which season two of the on-screen series is set to be based – places a central focus on Ilya’s mental health.
The book highlights his struggles with depression, stemming from his mother’s suicide and the strain of his secret relationship with Shane, exploring themes of isolation, feelings of worthlessness and therapy – feelings Sullivan has spoken about openly himself.
The release date for series two of Heated Rivalry has not yet been confirmed. You can stream season one in the UK on NOW on Sky.
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