Madonna says she struggled with suicidal ideation during custody battle over son Rocco: ‘I just couldn’t take it’

Madonna has revealed she experienced suicidal ideation during her 2016 custody battle with ex-husband Guy Ritchie over their son, Rocco.

At the time, the legal dispute played out across both US and UK courts after Rocco, then 15, left her Rebel Heart Tour and chose to stay in London with his father.

The singer, who had primary custody, sought legal intervention to bring him back to New York, but Rocco resisted. The case became a transatlantic tug-of-war, with judges encouraging both parents to resolve the matter privately.

“I actually contemplated suicide” – Madonna on her mental health during her custody battle over Rocco

The battle finally ended in September 2016 with a settlement allowing Rocco to remain in London.

Speaking on Jay Shetty’s On Purpose podcast, the singer has now reflected on the pain she endured at this time, calling it one of the darkest periods of her life.

“You know, there were moments in my life where I wanted to cut my arms off,” she told the life coach. “I actually contemplated suicide. And that probably sounds really weird coming from me because I’m not… I’m not emo, you know what I mean? But I was like, ‘I can’t take this pain anymore.'”

The musician said her spiritual practice, Kabbalah, helped her survive that time, giving her a framework to understand suffering as part of a larger journey. “But as soon as you understand that what’s happening to you is a challenge, that you are karmically meant to experience and learn from and evolve to a higher level of consciousness,” she said. “Then you can look at that event, that experience as a lesson and not punishment.”

“I would just be lying on the floor of my dressing room sobbing” – Madonna on her silent battle during the Rebel Heart Tour

The custody battle over Rocco was particularly traumatic. She recalled, “Someone trying to take my child away from me was like, ‘They might as well just kill me.’ That’s really how I was thinking. And I was on tour at the time, so I had to go on stage every night. I would just be lying on the floor of my dressing room sobbing. I really thought it was like it was the end of the world. I couldn’t take it. I just couldn’t take it. But thank God I don’t feel that way anymore.”

Madonna also spoke about how spirituality helped her move beyond anger and resentment, insisting she’s “not in the blame game”.

She said, “That’s the thing. I used to be that way, and I used to always want to seek revenge… I had to keep, you know, studying, like, continuing my studies and continuing on my spiritual path, like, helped me to understand that, you know, the enemy is within.”

If you, or somebody you know, needs help, contact Samaritans on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org.