Lily Allen gets honest about non-monogamy and queer culture as she defends butt-plug merch: ‘It’s not shaming at all’
"What we don’t often see reflected in pop culture, though, is the emotional fallout of those arrangements," said Allen
By Aaron Sugg
Lily Allen has spoken out about the taboo around open relationships in straight culture, saying the LGBTQ+ community has long been more open to the conversation.
Following the release of her 2025 album West End Girl, listeners around the world were given an insight into Allen’s non-monogamous relationship with her estranged husband, Stranger Things actor David Harbour.
Allen also released a butt plug-shaped USB stick, which drew backlash from some for being “shaming” – something she rejects outright.
“In the LGBTQIA+ community they’ve existed for much longer” – Lily Allen on non-monogamy in straight vs queer culture
Through standout singles such as ‘Nonmonogamummy’, ‘Madeline’, ‘Tennis’ and ‘Pussy Palace’, Allen charted the breakdown of their marriage – particularly when the boundaries of their open relationship were crossed.
Speaking with Mighty Hoopla’s Pop Mess ahead of her headline slot at the 2026 festival, Allen opened up about how her experience with non-monogamy resonated with the LGBTQ+ community.
“I think conversations around non-monogamy are still relatively new in heterosexual spaces, whereas in the LGBTQIA+ community they’ve existed for much longer,” said the 40-year-old.
According to a 2018 US study, two per cent of heterosexual participants reported being in open relationships, compared with 32 per cent of gay participants.
Allen said she leaned into the candid reality of her open relationship for her fifth studio album following the fallout of her marriage.
“The emotional fallout of those arrangements” – Allen on the breakdown of her marriage
“What we don’t often see reflected in pop culture, though, is the emotional fallout of those arrangements. We tend to hear the success stories – the positive, well-packaged versions – and that’s great for the people they work for.
“But there are also people on the other side of it, who don’t feel comfortable or feel pulled into something they didn’t choose. I think this album resonated because it gives a voice to that experience, which isn’t talked about nearly enough.”
Another hot topic to emerge following the release of her album was a conversation around butt plugs. In her single ‘Pussy Palace’, Allen sings: “Sex toys, butt plugs, lube inside,” after discovering what her ex-husband was doing behind her back.
Lily Allen’s merch
After the lyric went viral, Allen took it a step further by releasing a butt plug-shaped USB stick as part of her online merchandise drop, featuring her signature West End Girl blue and white polka dot branding.
“The butt plug was good,” Allen said. “I’ve also read quite a lot of stuff about people who think it’s shaming. It’s not shaming at all,” she added.
The singer clarified: “It was just the fact the butt plug was not being used with me.”
Allen is set to headline Mighty Hoopla 2026 on Saturday 30 May at Brockwell Park, London. With tickets nearly sold out, the last remaining are available via the festival’s official website.