Words: Jamie Tabberer; picture: Attitude
Colton Haynes has opened up about his dark experiences of working in Hollywood in a brutally honest essay.
Writing for New York magazine, the 33-year-old also discussed his life pre-acting, revealing he once worked as a gay phone sex operator.
The star adds: "My first serious relationship, if you could call it that, at 14, was with a man in his 40s who worked in the area. I began go-go dancing at a gay bar in Wichita that same year — fake ID in hand — after sneaking in one night with a few castmates from my community-theater program."
After moving to LA, the former Attitude cover star landed roles in the likes of Teen Wolf, San Andreas, and American Horror Story: Cult - but the path to success was paved with unsavory characters.
"Please stop moving your forehead so much. It looks like I could grow crops in those lines"
Haynes later recounts a read-through of a sex scene he was asked to partake in by a management company rep in front of a room full of actors.
"We began with our lines," he writes. "Eventually, I had to take off my pants. I stared into [the other actor] eyes, feeling everyone else’s eyes on my body. I pulled down my boxers, and I got on my knees. I turned Ethan, bare naked, toward the audience and began performing a fake oral-sex scene on him. Then he threw me down on all fours and simulated penetration while my dick flapped back and forth, slapping against my stomach. I closed my eyes so I wouldn’t have to look at the audience."
The rep then told Haynes: "'We have got to cut that hair. And please stop moving your forehead so much. It looks like I could grow crops in those lines. We’ve been over this already.' Of all the things that had happened to me in my life, I had never felt more demoralized."
He later told him: “'I’m sorry, but this isn’t working out. Your voice, your mannerisms — they’re still too … gay.'”
The rep then handed the actor a rentboys.com business card, Haynes writes. He later signed with new management, who he alleges also pressurised him to stay in the closet.
After becoming dependant on alcohol and pills, the now-sober star eventually came out publicly in 2016 - adding that, despite an outpouring of support, acting roles then began drying up.