Lyon, Lake Annecy and Montpellier: Attitude takes a trip to the south of France
Jack Cullen swaps Bear Week’s meatballs and bukkake parties for e-Bikes on his first sober solo holiday, putting his GCSE French to the test
By Jack Cullen
When I left my ex, Elliot, I let him keep Sitges in the carve-up of our illusory queer assets. This was despite me being the person who introduced Elliot to the Spanish beach town, showing him my favourite secluded wine bars, tapas joints and cruising spots. In turn, I stole Sitges from my first boyfriend, Oliver, who drove me there when I was just 20. Gay resorts are passed along generations from daddy to twink, and so it goes on. It’s funny how as individuals we claim an emotional ownership over places. In The Kardashians, Kim and Kourtney have a blazing row over whom Italy “belongs” to, as if it were just another one of their fragrance lines, screaming “Italy is my wedding country!” at each other.
But it got to a point where I needed to change my life. And it wasn’t just lost love calling for a tectonic shift in my holiday plans; it was my new-found sobriety too.
“I wanted a holiday that offered more than sunburn, casual sex and Rihanna-infused tinnitus”
Sitges was perfect for boozy summer breaks of bear sex and losing your wallet in Bukkake Cruise Club, for sipping a Damm Lemon on Balmins beach while men still drunk from last night’s foam party fondled each other. But I was craving something greener and more intellectual. I wanted a holiday that offered more than sunburn, casual sex and Rihanna-infused tinnitus. I needed to find myself again.
What did I want? I yearned for water definitely – a few days of swimming does more for me than any body scrub or Botox can, and it clears my mind. I wanted nature; I kept fantasising about lush grass under my feet and large trees, a welcome break from technology. I wanted to exercise, but not too much. Yes, I still wanted some holiday sex, but maybe not three lovers an hour set to a Timbaland megamix.
Lake Annecy: “A vast expanse of water overlooked by stunning mountains”
A friend recommended the French lake district. “It’s a bit like the British Lake District,” she said, “except it’s hot, and everyone there is hot, and instead of information boards about Beatrix Potter, the lakes have proper beaches.” Curious, I investigated using Google Maps, and sure enough Lake Annecy was giving higgledy-piggledy medieval lanes, a vast expanse of water overlooked by stunning mountains, and frowning men in Speedos.
The quickest way to get there is to fly into Geneva and cross the Swiss border, but with flights being expensive, I travel to Lyon, just two hours from the French lakes by train. I would stay in Lyon for a few days, spend a week at Lake Annecy, and then stay in Montpellier for a week. When travelling in recovery, I find it’s good to keep moving, as too much idling around in one place gives the devil a chance to catch up and I start opening cupboards in the hotel room, hoping there’s a minibar. Travelling on a budget, I book into hostels, jazzing it up with intermittent nights in posher hotels.
It doesn’t escape my attention that all three French towns on my list also have their own gay sauna — another lifesaver when you’re not drinking. I love an over-share in a Jacuzzi, and I have a B in GCSE French that I’m not afraid to use!
Lyon: “A handsome and mysterious place”
Lyon is France’s second biggest city in terms of territory. (Marseille has more residents.) It’s a handsome and mysterious place, and not in the typically baroque way that attracts Americans to France, although Lyon’s Hôtel de Ville is an eye-catching example of that pomposity. Lyon is pretty but with a brutalist edge and a cultural vitality. Of course, there’s the old town with its famous cathedral that offers stunning views, but there are exciting student districts too, such as the hill-hugging Croix-Rousse. Many of France’s top chefs train in Lyon and you can enjoy a three-course gourmet lunch deal for 25 euros – keep your eyes peeled for those chalkboards.
“Traboules” is the local word for Lyon’s system of secret passageways and steeply sloping alleys. The city’s maze-like quality helped residents resist Nazi occupation as French freedom fighters used their intricate knowledge of the town’s architectural puzzle to outwit Hitler’s Gestapo. Families would leave their doors unlocked so that fleeing rebels could literally turn a corner and then dash through someone’s house, confusing their assailants. (Be mindful when using Google Maps to meet men on Grindr – a short walk might, in reality, involve 300 stairs.)
This is an excerpt from a feature appearing in Attitude’s January/February 2026 issue.
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