Jake Graf takes a trip to Palm Springs, a safe spot for trans people in America
A British trans man’s long-awaited trip to Palm Springs becomes a tense, tactical mission to cross President Trump’s hostile borders – yet it’s a reminder that pockets of welcome still exist
By Jake Graf
After a rough seven months for the UK’s trans community following the UK Supreme Court ruling in April, and with winter around the corner, the prospect of a trip to enjoy the sunshine, sights and queer nightlife of Palm Springs in October should have been cause for celebration. I planned to combine the IGLTA (International LGBTQ+ Travel Association) travel conference with a little R&R, as the off-season flights were relatively affordable. But for a solo trans traveller in 2025, there is more to consider than shorts or Speedos, and what would previously have been a quick visit to Skyscanner soon became an almost laughable exercise in paranoia and military planning.
I’ve never been a nervous traveller. I’ve happily toured my way across Europe without issue. I’ve seen Lebanon, Jordan and Syria – riskier destinations – incident-free. Canada is a firm favourite, but my top destination has always been the United States. At least it was until January, when the new Republican administration tore into the rights and protections of trans people nationwide and a trip to the US suddenly felt like a journey into the belly of the beast.
Travelling to the US as a trans man
Horror stories circulated swiftly. I heard from trans authors missing book tours due to being unable to secure an ESTA, which all travellers need to visit. Trans travellers have been denied entry at customs, visas ripped from passports, passports destroyed. One particularly nightmarish tale involved a trans woman being dragged into an interrogation room, accused of prostitution and her electronics confiscated before being deported several days later, re-entry privileges permanently revoked.
Were all these stories true? I don’t know, but the fear was undeniably real. Discussions with trans friends here revealed an almost blanket sentiment that US travel was, for the next four years at least, cancelled.
“I was warned against flying into Texas with its 139 anti-trans bills”
American friends’ advice compounded the worry: “Scrub your social media.” “Get a burner phone.” I was even told to delete chat histories and leave my testosterone at home, as it’s a controlled substance in the US. What should have been a run-of-the-mill trip was now a tactical operation. I was warned against flying into Texas with its 139 anti-trans bills. Instead, I booked a flight from London to San Francisco via Dublin, where US Transport Security Administration (TSA) pre-clearance is offered, knowing that I’d be safer if stopped on Irish soil. This detour added over £1,100 to the cost of my travel over a direct flight.
Standing in the Dublin TSA line, I felt the first prickles of an anxiety attack, the climax of weeks of worry. When the officer finally waved me forward, he was surprisingly pleasant. No questions about gender or identity, just the standard reasons for the visit and duration of stay. I headed straight to the airport bar for a celebratory 8am Guinness.
“Palm Springs welcomed me warmly, the city brazenly inclusive, with rainbow flags”
After landing in San Francisco, I was effectively a domestic traveller and glided through unhindered. Palm Springs welcomed me warmly, the city brazenly inclusive, with rainbow flags fluttering in the wind as we drove downtown to the kitschy, bubble-gum pink and oh-so-queer Trixie Motel. I even met a honeymooning trans couple around the pool the very next morning.
As a “passing”, white trans man with privilege, I wondered if my concerns had been unnecessary, but that caution may have kept me safe. I found out later that several attendees from countries including India and Mexico had been forced to cancel their travel at the last minute. New directives meant the “X” gender marker, for non-binary or intersex individuals, on their passports was no longer accepted by US Customs, closing the door a little further for gender-diverse travellers.
In fact, since my trip, the Supreme Court has allowed the Trump administration to stop issuing passports that reflect the gender identity of transgender, non-binary and intersex Americans, further creating waves of confusion and fear for foreign tourists thinking of travelling to the US.
This is an excerpt from a feature appearing in Attitude’s January/February 2026 issue.
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