Reverend Richard Coles on his favourite Communards song, meeting the Spice Girls and his message to the new Pope

Tell us why your tour is called Borderline National Trinket.

It was a title conferred on me by my late husband who overheard someone describe me as a national treasure. He thought that needed an urgent downgrade.
Burn. 4/5 

What’s on your tour rider?

The Crown Jewels. Why should a dressing room be drab?
We’ve got bags of jewellery hanging around from shoots at Attitude HQ. 4/5

No question on the tour is off limits. What’s the most revealing question you’ve ever been asked, and what was the answer?

It was in Bury St Edmunds, when someone asked me why I had pushed her over in a puddle at preschool in Kettering in 1967. I had completely forgotten about it until that moment. There was no particular reason; I just saw an opportunity and took it.
What an answer. 5/5

Tell us about your upcoming novel, A Death on Location.

It’s the fifth in the Canon Clement Mystery series. With the books set in a small village there’s a logistical problem, which is you soon run out of people to kill, so to rustle up fresh meat, the circus has come to town in the form of a film crew shooting a period drama at the big house. By the end of the shoot, the cast is lighter by one person, and Canon Clement and DS Vanloo have another mystery to solve.
Inspired. 4/5

How many pairs of shoes do you own?

I’ve just had a clear-out because my feet are getting bigger as I get older, so it’s about a dozen now, excluding sandals.
This is honesty right here. 5/5

Have you met any of the Spice Girls?

I have met all of them, I think. My favourite story is Scary coming round to Helen Fielding’s house in Los Angeles and discussing the best chip shops in Wakefield as the sun went down and the city lit up.
Imagine Coles and VB’s interaction. 5/5

Who would you invite to the jungle with you for I’m a Celebrity All Stars?

Alan Carr, Maria Callas, Kevin De Bruyne, Margaret Rutherford, George Ezra, and the Cheeky Girls.
Cheeky, cheeky! 4/5

What are your top three Communards songs in order of greatness?

‘Never Can Say Goodbye’, ‘For a Friend’, ‘You Are My World’.
Missing out their biggest hit, ‘Don’t Leave Me This Way’? Iconic. 5/5 

Which fictional TV vicar do you most identify with and why?

Sidney Chambers, because I like a ginger.
That’s James Norton in Grantchester, FYI. The epitome of strawberry blond tipping into ginger — swoon. 5/5

What’s the Bible’s most dramatic story?

I think the Resurrection is a banger. It’s just so unexpected.
Go big or go home! 5/5

Which passage in the Bible would you direct LGBTQ+ readers to?

John 10:10: “I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.”
We don’t know what this means, but we believe it. 5/5

What’s your verdict on the new Pope?

I wish him well, but I try not to have unreasonable expectations of anyone called to that impossible job.
With diplomacy skills like that, we’d nominate him for the job. 4/5 

Tell us a Strictly secret…

They sew you into your costume and someone from wardrobe has to take you for a pee.
That’s Beyoncé-level dedication. 4/5

Your advice for gay men struggling with the ageing process?

Don’t struggle, accept. I’m loving my sixties. Got it. 4/5

What’s the most fabulous hymn?

Hard to beat ‘Jerusalem’.
Wrong. ‘Lord of the Dance’ slaps. 2/5

If you were canonised tomorrow, what would you be the patron saint of?

Reality Television. With a capital T, of course. 4/5

A surprise celebrity fan of yours?

David Seaman.
This reminds us: moustaches are hot. 4/5

Is God a woman?

I don’t think God has any gender.
This answer would make even Ariana pause for thought. 5/5

87% Attitude
Intelligence, humour, honesty, spirituality — the Rev’s answers have them in spades, making the interview, for us, a religious experience.

The Borderline National Trinket tour takes place until 17 July