Graham Norton recalls the time his dog ate some sex ‘debris’
By Ross Semple
Today is Bring Your Dog To Work Day, and in-keeping with the canine spirit of the day, Graham Norton has a story about his Labradoodle that will have you cringing and laughing in equal measure.
Graham, host of the weekly chat show The Graham Norton Show on BBC One, told the embarrassing story to the Express as he revealed what would be his ‘Red Chair’ story.
For those who may not watch Graham’s show (Why not? Do you go out on Fridays or something?), the Red Chair is a segment on Graham’s chat show in which he gets audience members to reveal embarrassing stories. Graham’s revelation certainly rivals some of the more cringeworthy ones we’ve seen.
Graham explained: “I had a gentleman caller and he was fine. The next morning I waved goodbye to him and slammed the door bye, bye, and that was that. I went upstairs to clean up some of the debris… things you don’t want the cleaner to find. I was putting everything away, but there was one bit of debris I could not find.
“I looked in the bin; it wasn’t there. I thought, ‘Well, I couldn’t have tried to flush that down the toilet, it must have gone. Where on earth is it?’”
He continued: “It actually got to the point where I phoned the gentleman caller and said, ‘Do you know what happened to the thing?’ and he said, ‘No, I don’t know what happened to it’. So I thought that must just be a mystery. That is a mystery!
“So that was the Monday night, Tuesday morning. Wednesday morning I was out and about in the park as usual with my dog, Bailey – quite a big Labradoodle – he did his business and I picked that up.
“I walked over and I put that in the bin and then I looked back and Bailey is lying on the ground clawing at his backside. There it was, like a great big ghostly finger hanging out of him.”
Oh. My. God.
Not sure what to do next, Graham continued: “I had to get it out. I mean, it’s morning time, mothers with their children were going to school. I went, ‘No I did not have sex with my dog!’”
Oh Graham. This raises so many more questions, but we’re glad to know the matter finally sorted itself out. And keep your ‘doggy style’ jokes to yourself, you lot.
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