Bertrand’s Townhouse hotel review: A London stay bursting with history and charm
A storied hotel in the heart of Bloomsbury with modern touches like in-room Smeg fridges and Diptyque toiletries
By Joanna Gale
As our train rolls into London, we are welcomed by the Pride Progress flag atop Battersea Dogs and Cats Home. We take the Tube and look on with envy at the more prepared travellers with their wearable fans. It’s 37C degrees in London today.
Our walk from the Holborn Tube Station takes us through Bloomsbury Square Gardens, named after the literary and artistic group that gave us queer classics such as Orlando and Maurice.
On a nearby quiet tree-lined street is Bertrands Townhouse, which is somehow both central and secluded.
An element of eccentricity and subtle mischief
This boutique hotel is named after Bertrand Russell, a philosopher, a Nobel Prize winner and an author of over 60 books to name but a few of his accolades. It was Bertie’s biography on the hotel website that attracted us to the property, we were curious to see how his sited eccentricity and subtle mischief would be captured at the hotel.
The first thing I’m are of is how the deliciously cool the aircon feels.
We are through to Ottie’s Salon for check in. It’s a relaxed, bohemian space, homely – if I were a 19th-century Lord. With lounge seating, low tables, oil paintings, fringed lamps, gilt frames and a central bar area, adjacent to a cigar counter.
Decor that spans centuries
I peruse the salon enjoying the contrasting art styles on display. It appears to be mid-19th-century landscapes, still lives and character portraits, while opposite the cigar cabinet, there is a collection of 20th– and 21st-century works, mixing modern, pop and contemporary styles.
It’s a fabulous space mixing modern and historical pieces on a wine-red wall, with blue cornices and a ceiling embossed with gold fern leaves.
Before we go to our room, we are offered a tour. We follow a staff member through the bar, which is named after Bertie’s mistress, out onto a raised terrace, overlooking an outside restaurant area. The parasols are bold stripes of black and white; a row of white bistro chairs and square marble tables sit neatly in front of bench seating. Luscious ferns, outdoor mirrors and upholstery adorned with peacocks and tigers – makes for an opulent space we’ll have time to enjoy later.
Eye-catching views, rooms and furniture
The outdoor seating area stretches out to our left and right. Bertrand’s Townhouse is something of a Tardis, made up of three townhouses with 43 rooms, situated over five floors.
The hotels Bloomsbury setting and the company philosopher Bertrand would have kept, has inspired the decor and style through the property. It would have been a space once filled with thinkers, writers, artists, zoologists, and they’ve all been considered in its decor.
All the rooms that we are shown are bright, full of natural light, even on the lower ground level. There was something eye-catching in every room we saw, unique pieces of furniture, embroidered insects on the curtains, selected artworks, giving each room personality.
Luxurious facilities
Every room, of which there are four categories, comes with a Smeg fridge, a Marshall radio, a coffee machine, and Diptyque toiletries.
We stayed in the Philosopher’s Suite, which included a roll top bath and double rainfall shower. The room was spacious and felt both homely and luxurious in equal measure.
We are in town to for the Frida Kahlo exhibition and dinner at the Tate Modern. Fortunately, as its early afternoon, there’s time to treat ourselves to drinks and a bite to eat in Ottie’s Salon first.
We sit outside, enjoying a Prosecco while perusing the menu. Choices include cold platters of British cheeses, classics such as a club sandwich, seafood delicacies, and a meat & smoke section – which is where we landed. We had Wagyu beef sliders and beautifully braised beef rib in a smoky glaze, with pickled shallots.
After a quick change in our suite, we headed off to the Tate, smelling incredible (head to toe in Diptyque moisturiser).
Located within a cultural hotspot
The Frida Kahlo exhibition included a selection of her own works and personal possessions, along with works by artists who had been inspired by her work. With some pieces recognising the connection between Kahlo and the queer community.
It’s the golden hour when we leave the museum, arguably the best light in which to appreciate the beauty of any city. London is alive with people and music and street artists. We walk along Southbank, over Tower Bridge and back through Bloomsbury to the hotel. Our keycard gained us entry through the main door, where we were greeted promptly and invited into the bar.
The bar was ‘technically’ closed but with our ice-cold water came a drinks menu, and a night cap was duly ordered.
After an incredible night’s sleep in what is possibly the most comfortable bed that I have ever slept in. We enjoyed our double rainfall shower, an extravagance found in the Philosophers Quarter’s only. Smothered ourselves in more Diptyque and headed down to the terrace for what was a delicious breakfast.
We reluctantly hand our keycard over, sorry to leave so soon but glad to have been looked after so well and with promises to return.
For more information, and to book your stay, visit the official Bertrands Townhouse website.