Table for Two | ‘He seemed put off when he found out I was 18’

Jono (left) 
Age: 18
Occupation: Student

Josh (right)
Age: 22
Occupation: Writer

What were you looking for on the blind date?

JONO: Either a laugh or a boyfriend.

JOSH: Someone with a five-star rating on Yelp. If not, a guy who can make me laugh and hold a conversation.

What were your first impressions?

JONO: He was really cute and has lovely hair.

JOSH: He was adorable, with a cheeky smile. We couldn’t stop laughing when we got our photos taken. “How do I smile?” was the catchphrase of the moment.

Would you have swiped left or right?

JONO: In real life, right. But his photos would be a left.

JOSH: His facial hair made it a right.

How was the conversation and what did you talk about?

JONO: We spoke about drugs, kinks and journalism.

JOSH: We drifted around our experiences of university and what our direction for the (horrifying) future is. He’s younger than me, so we did the generic gay guy questions of: “When did you come out? How was your first time? What has been your longest relationship?”, etc. It flowed OK.

What was his best quality?

JONO: His hair.

JOSH: He was easy to chat with and no conversation topic was off limits. I could endorse him on LinkedIn for being chilled.

What did you make of his dress sense?

JONO: Didn’t pick up on anything, he just wore all black.

JOSH: His jumper look was a 10 out of 10. An extra point for the Chelsea boots and skinny jeans.

Were there any deal-breakers?

JONO: We’re both bottoms.

JOSH: What’s a horror story in four words? “We are both bottoms.”

What do you think he thought of you?

JONO: Probably that I was a bit too young.

JOSH: Friendly and funny are always the go-to combination.

What were you most worried he would notice about you?

JONO: My cold sore was breaking out.

JOSH: How much I pretend to be on The Office by looking towards an imaginary camera when something weird happens. How I inhale my food, or that a solid 47 per cent of everything I say is an obscure pop culture reference.

How was the food?

JONO: Great. We ate the same thing.

JOSH: The food was more expensive than my life and it felt as if I was eating a divine intervention.

Adam and Aiden dined at M Restaurant, Victoria Street, London

Any awkward moments?

 JONO: He seemed put off when he found out that I was 18.

 JOSH: There were a few of those horrible pauses.

How did the night end?

JONO: He went northbound and I went southbound.

JOSH: We’re both broke so we bounced to the Tube station and saw each other off. We swapped Instagrams which is very #millennial.

Snog, marry, avoid?

JONO: Snog. JOSH: Snog.

Would you meet again?

JONO: Probably not.

JOSH: As pals, yes.

RATE THE DATE!

Jono: 6/10

Josh: 6.5/10

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