Nic Billington bares all in intimate photo memoir exploring his experiences with body dysmorphia and bullying
"That’s how body dysmorphia works. It’s not about vanity. It’s about discrimination," writes Billington
By Aaron Sugg
South African-born musician Nic Billington has released his intimate photo memoir, The Introverted Exhibitionist, where he bears all about being bullied for his physique and how those experiences shaped his struggle with body dysmorphia as a gay man.
The candid coffee table, comprised of over 100 never-before-seen artistic nude images, marks the 40-year-old’s debut in print publishing, blending emotional vulnerability with erotic artistry.
Spanning six years of self-portraiture from 2018 to 2024, the project captures a deeply personal journey. Billington shared: “These are the photos I once kept to myself. Now, they tell my story.”
“After that, I never swam shirtless again” – Nic Billington recalling a moment he was bullied for his physique
In a moment of self-reflection, he reveals in the biography: “By six years old I had mastered the art of self-editing,” recalling his early awareness of his sexuality.
Billington recalled an early example of bullying in his youth, “Once, while swimming, another boy laughed at my chest – said I looked like I had boobs. It stung… after that, I never swam shirtless again,” he wrote.
It did not stop there: “Then came more comments – about my hips, my voice, my weight, my walk. Boys would say I looked like a girl. Some would touch me, flirt with me in private… and then laugh about it in public,” he added.
“It’s not about vanity. It’s about discrimination” – Billington on body dysmorphia
Reflecting on the long-term effects, he said: “That’s how body dysmorphia works. It’s not about vanity. It’s about discrimination.”
According to the LGBT Foundation, 21% of gay & bisexual men said they had been told they had problems with weight or eating at some point in their lives.
In a study by the Mental Health Foundation, one third (33%) of LGBTQ+ respondents said they had experienced suicidal thoughts in relation to their body image.
Billington first gained global attention in 2008 when Britney Spears featured his YouTube cover of ‘Gimme More’ on her official website, and since has built a musical career with two albums Overload and Dark Horse, along with a string of singles.
“Seek, receive, crash, repeat” – Billington on the effects of body dysmorphia
At 30, Billington finally began to feel secure in his skin, transforming his body and landing a role in Man International, a spin-off of the Magic Mike stage show.
Even at his physical peak, though, he admitted there was still a voice in his head telling him he was not worthy of happiness – a recurring cycle he described as: “Seek, receive, crash, repeat.”
Collaborating with Saint Nic Studios and Byron du Bois, Billington said: “For years, I struggled with self-worth, thinking I was never fit enough, never ready enough.”
In a moment of self reflection, he added: “What I realised is that the images – and the story – were already there. This book is both a release and a reminder: you don’t have to be perfect to be seen.”
Through The Introverted Exhibitionist, he explained: “I wanted to create something honest – something you can hold, feel, and see without distortion.”
The Introverted Exhibitionist, was released 1 September, 2025 and is available to order exclusively through the official Blurb website.