Drag Race UK’s Baby shares personal statement on surprise exit
“The reality is, I was really unwell.”
RuPaul’s Drag Race UK series four’s Baby has opened up about her surprise exit from the show.
At the end of last week’s episode the London queen, 25, who had landed in the bottom two alongside Dakota Schiffer, chose to leave after the two lip-synced.
Raising her hand before RuPaul could tell one of them to sashay away Baby said: “I’m extremely grateful for being here but I think, I need to go home and take care of myself.”
Mama Ru told Baby she respected her decision adding, “I love you. We all love you.”
In an emotional statement posted to her social media on Monday (24 October) Baby thanked those who’d reached out since the episode aired.
“I was genuinely dreading being so vulnerable on national television but, after hearing how many of you identified with my journey, I’ve now realised how important it was to have that conversation on a platform as big as drag race and I want to thank you all for teaching me that lesson,” she wrote.
She continues that what we saw in episode five of series four was “a very small window into what was actually going on” and that “the reality is, I was really unwell.”
Baby reveals she was “switching it on” for the cameras but had reached her limit and began having “aggressive and frequent panic attacks, then just walking into the work room, a challenge, the runway, or untucked acting like NOTHING had happened.”
She details bursting into tears before they filmed the improv challenge the week before getting in front of the camera and saying, “right, girlies, let’s get into these improv characters”. Baby also says Cheddar Gorgeous helped her through another panic attack prior to Untucked the same week. Baby was worried how people at home would respond to her performance on the show.
She also shares that she wanted to leave the night before filming the Rusical “when I was in my hotel room doubled-over in crippling pain from my anxiety,” but she stayed “out of respect to the other girls,” and their efforts. Baby says her well-being felt like a “dirty secret that needed to be hidden”.
Baby goes on to say that confidence has never been an issue for her, and that it was the “psychological requirements of being on a show of that scale meant that I wasn’t able to do my job to the best of my ability.
“So, rather than stay and misrepresent my skill level and artistic capabilities, I decided to go home and take care of myself.”
Addressing fans messaging with expressions of support Baby appreciates them but adds that “it also implies that there’s a magical switch that just ‘fixes’ your mental health issues”.
She continues, “people need to understand that this is something that will affect me (at least to some degree) for the rest of my life.
“I’m learning the best ways to make it as manageable as possible for myself so I can continue to be a bad-ass performer, not just for you guys, but for me.”
She closes confirming that she’s “booked and my bills are paid,” and sending love to her followers.
Finally, she adds, “I wrote a song about all of this,” directing people to ‘Theatre!’.
Similar to last week people praised Baby in the comments and replies to her post and applauding her for speaking openly about mental health.
RuPaul’s Drag Race UK continues on BBC Three and the Player every Thursday from 9pm.
If you’ve been affected by any issues raised in this story you can call the Samaritans for free on 116 123.