John Whaite: ‘I didn’t fail my resolution; I broke it’

This month, Attitude.co.uk‘s special columnist John Whaite addresses The Weight Issue…

As a baker and cook it really isn’t easy to keep the weight off. I often find myself nibbling on the offcuts when I’m decorating a birthday cake. Or when I recipe develop, sometimes three or four recipes a day, I’ll tell myself not to eat the result – just test it then freeze or throw. In spite of my strict self-disciplinarian preconceptions, however, I end up eating it all.

It’s not like I sit on my arse all day watching back-to-back episodes of Jeremy Kyle. I go to the gym four or five times a week, and like any other London dweller I’m constantly rushing around town.

I’m 6ft 2in tall; I weigh close to 16 stone, and I have a 34 (really 36 but if you dare tell anyone I’ll bake you into a cake) inch waist. So I know I could do with losing a bit of weight, and no matter how much running I do on the treadmill or how heavy a weight I’ve bench-pressed, as any dietician or trainer will tell you, the key to a good body is largely about good diet.

I started this January as most naïve, impulsive human beings do: with a resolution. My resolution was to eat less sugar, and to achieve and maintain a healthier weight. It started well. I didn’t drink for most of January, I lost my bloated chef’s face and I groomed (I won’t say where exactly, but this is Attitude, you can guess).

Note the use of the past tense in that last paragraph: ‘lost’, ‘didn’t’, ‘groomed’. You see, as I write this, it’s 12:21 on the last Friday morning in January. I’m wretchedly hungover, in my bed, and I’ve just deep throated pretty much an entire loaf of bread with oil and vinegar. The strange thing is that I really don’t care. I don’t care that I’ve just eaten over 1500 calories in one sitting – it’s once in a blue moon. I’ll probably go to the gym later and eat frugally tomorrow.

You may think of me now as a sluggish slob. I’m not. I’m obsessed with food. I would go as far as saying that I live for food. My good friend was murdered some eight years ago, and the night she died she had a Chinese takeaway with the girls. “I’ll just have something light,” she said, “because I’m watching my figure”.

I don’t want my last meal on earth to be something light because I feel as though I should watch my weight. I’m not condoning obesity or gluttony, and I think it’s important to try and make an effort, but on a Friday night, or hangover day (suicide Sunday), I say just enjoy and indulge.
That’s what my new Attitude.co.uk column is all about: food. I’ll be sharing recipes to relish in those moments of rare indulgence, and I urge you to indulge with me.

Follow John Whaite on Twitter @JohnWhaiteBakes or visit his official website.