Gay share house nightmares: The five worst flatmates
Supported by Outlet Property Services
Share housing can be a fraught process at the best at times – but if, like many, you live in a predominantly LGBT household, there are some – ahem – specific challenges you may encounter when it comes to flatmates. Ladies and gentlemen, we give you: the five worst gay flatmates. Chances are you’ve already encountered at least one….
The party boy
“Club’s closing? Hey everyone, back to mine! Don’t worry, my housemate’s cool…”
FACT: It’s always fun living with a party boy…. until you don’t want to party. Then it’s horrible. IT’S 5AM, PLEASE TURN OFF THE ELECTRO-HOUSE AND CALL THAT DRAG QUEEN YOU MET IN DALSTON AN UBER. SOME OF US HAVE TO WORK IN THE MORNING.
The ‘always home’ housemate
Aka ‘The Bevers’, Broad City fans (see above). The only thing worse than a party boy is a non-party boy. Fun fact: You can still proudly self-identify as ‘non-scene’ if you leave the house every once in a while.
The loved-up housemate
“You don’t mind if the boyf stays over again tonight, do you?” First of all, stop saying ‘boyf’, that’s gross. And second of all: do I mind if you and your other half curl up on the couch for yet another night of spooning and creepy neck kissing, leaving me to sit in my room alone singing ‘All By Myself’? PLEASE, GO RIGHT AHEAD.
The drama queen
How to identify if you’re living with a drama queen: Do you run for cover every time you hear that familiar key in the door of an evening, lest you have to sit through an endless tirade about how his boss / coworker / barista is being, like, totally awful and not even HEARING what you’re saying and why can’t people appreciate him for the gift that he IS and what? You’re going to have dinner in your room? Oh OK goodnight…
The hook-up fiend
Hey – Grind it out, Tind it up, Scruff yourself up to your heart’s content. But if you’ve said “Sure I can host – I mean, my housemate’s home, but it’s fine” more than a couple of times to potential hook-ups, I’ve got news for you: Your housemate’s probably not ‘fine’. In fact, he’s probably sat in his room during the whole ordeal, drowning out the noise with the expensive soundproofing headphones he’s been forced to buy because you’re constantly bringing randoms home for a shag.