Sir Ian McKellen says he regrets not coming out to his father before his death (EXCLUSIVE)
Appearing on Tea with Judi Dench, McKellen wonders whether his father knew he was gay
By Aaron Sugg
Sir Ian McKellen has revealed one of his biggest life regrets after looking back through letters he received from his father when he was 21 and at university.
In an exclusive clip provided to Attitude, McKellen spoke about coming out to his family long after his parents had passed away while appearing on Tea with Judi Dench.
Speaking to the Dame at her home in Surrey, McKellen said that the night before recording the show, he was reading a letter from his father to him for his 21st birthday.
“I was at university, not living at home anymore. He was only saying he loved me and I’d done well and he’d always be looking out for me, I think,” McKellen explained.
Sir Ian McKellen says he knew he was gay at 21
He said that, at the time, he knew he was gay, though it took him more than two decades to publicly come out.
“Of course, looking back now, I knew I was gay at 21. It was the biggest thing in my life, really, the discovery of acceptance of that,” said McKellen.
“One of the first persons I should have talked to about it would have been Dad. But I didn’t,” he said with regret.
McKellen wonders if his father knew about his sexuality
“He’s sending me this letter full of love. And I wonder, looking back, was he saying, is there anything you want to talk to me about?”
McKellen came out publicly as gay in January 1988 at the age of 48 during a live BBC Radio broadcast in a debate concerning Section 28.
He recalled coming out to his sister Jean: “Her first reaction was, ‘Oh, Ian, I’ve known that for ages, and I’ve never wanted to talk to you about it because I thought you didn’t want to.’”
He described hiding his sexuality from his family as “a waste of time”, and coming out after both his mother and father had passed away remains one of the few regrets he has in life.
“I have few regrets in my life, but that’s one of them.”
McKellen’s mother, Margery Lois McKellen, died of breast cancer in June 1952, when the actor was 12, while his father, Denis Murray McKellen, died in October 1964.
Tea with Judi Dench will air 31 August on Sky Arts, Freeview, and streaming service NOW.