Watch: First scene from Mariah Carey’s Christmas movie makes Glitter look good

CANCEL YOUR CHRISTMAS PLANS. The one and only true festive diva, Mariah Carey, is gracing us with her first Christmas movie this holiday season: A Christmas Melody will debut on the US Hallmark Channel on December 18.

One short scene from the film, which Mariah both stars in AND DIRECTS, has already leaked online – and all we can say is, brace yourselves:

There’s so much to digest in this one, 75-second scene:

• The fact that Mean Girls-obsessed Mariah has cast Gretchen Wieners herself, Lacey Chabert, in the film – and proceeds to go full Mean Girls on her as a bitchy PTA Mom,
• The fact that the pair clearly did not film their respective parts of the scene at the same time, and indeed, in the same location,
• The fact that while Lacey’s stuck with a regular old camera filter, Mariah is shot through a gauzy haze of vaseline, like she’s appearing to Lacey in a hallucinogenic fever dream,
• The fact that their mismatched eyelines suggest Mariah is 14 feet tall while Lacey is a dwarf.

Basically, this whole thing makes Glitter look like The Godfather and we cannot WAIT for December 18, and the ensuing 2016 Academy Awards when A Christmas Melody will no doubt obliterate all in its path.

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