The campest Brit Award performances of all time
When was the last time you saw a performance at the Brits that whipped you into a feverish pop frenzy? Oh, not for many a year, we’d wager.
These days, the annual music fest is jam-packed with oh-so-worthy Brit-school educated singer songwriters, howling along to wishy-washy ballads like animals who caught their paw in a trap.
Sorry Adele, we love you babes, but would it kill you to mount a glitter cannon or wheel out a few PVC-clad back-up dancers?
But the Brits wasn’t always so mind-numbingly middle of the road. In fact, it used to be quite fun and anti-establishment in the campest of ways.
It was a place where drag queens lip-synched to disco trash, topless men writhed between women’s legs and where Doctor Who aliens threw disco shapes with a pop princess!
Ah, the good old days. Fear not, here Attitude’s associate editor Christian Guiltenane reminds us of the GAYEST Brit Award performances EVER…
Bananarama – Love In The First Degree (1988)
The ‘Nanas had a place in our cold withered hearts because they were refreshingly shambolic. But when they were asked to perform at the Brits in 1988, the gals decided to tart themselves up by slipping into sophisticated black evening gowns and heels. And my, they looked lovely for it. But wait, that wasn’t what we wanted from our all-miming, all-grumpy deadpan pop-stropsters? Thankfully, our Sarah, Keren and Siobhan had also invited along fourteen of their buffest mates and ordered them to wear barely-there bikini briefs, squat on their hands and knees and twerk their beaut butts off to the pulsating beats of one of SAW’s finest hiNRG ditties! The result? The Brits crowd were shocked, having never seen a saucy spectacle like it. And the cigar puffing, snow-sniffing music bods were simply appalled (though no doubt secretly titillated and gutted that they hadn’t thought of it first). Even flustered host Noel Edmonds didn’t know where to look!
KD Lang and Andy Bell – No More Tears! 1993
If UKIP had existed back in 1993, then this ridiculous coming together of a Gay and a Lesbian belting out a Streisand and Summer number on prime time TV would have caused them to self-combust, and blame the pop pair for any subsequent natural disasters! But the dandy disco duo was most definitely a sight to behold, even if it was just to get an eyeful of KD Lang looking like a cross between Yoko Ono and John Lennon drowning in an oversized Beetlejuice suit. Low-key and lo-fi, it’s still worth a gander.
Pet Shop Boys – Go West (1994)
What could be more camp than PSB frontman Neil Tennant being lowered onto the stage in a giant bucket dressed as an angelic coalminer, miming his heart out to a dance version of a Village People classic? Not much… Unless, of course, you throw in a 100-strong Welsh male voice choir wearing helmets so shiny, you could see your own gleeful face in them. Simple yet unforgettable, this poptastic moment remains a definite Brits highlight.
Elton John And RuPaul – Don’t Go Breaking My Heart (1994)
If you thought the PSBs’ Go West was a massive two fingers up to the anti-gay brigade, then this insane performance from the grand dame of pop and the soon-to-be queen of all things drag was like a custard pie in the face. Once again, live vocals were not a consideration (oh, how mid-90s), while the choreography had clearly been thought up five minutes before showtime. But the frenetic camped-up reworking of Elton’s old classic was a homo hoot which would have had its previous performer, Kiki Dee, spinning in her grave – had she actually been dead. As part of a show dominated by rock, it was something of a breath of fresh air, albeit one with a slight whiff of poppers.
Spice Girls – Who Do You Think You Are (1997)
Of course you all know this one. It’s the iconic performance that set the girls on the map, starring a boobtastic Ginger, barely able to breath in her handmade, gusset-flashing Union Jack frock, Scary prowling in leopard print and Posh ditching her trademark black Gucci for a white bikini and mini skirt. So far, so Two Brewers’ Drag Night. Tight choreography, oodles of energy and a dash of pre-megastardom innocence make this one of the greatest and most enjoyable pop performances ever and enough to make us forget about that godawful Forever album. Miss ya gals!
Scissor Sisters – Take Your Mama (2005)
No strangers to folks who love a friendly hand where the sun don’t shine, the giddy Scissor Sisters were only to pleased to be joined on stage by a gaggle of Muppet puppets. Gorgeous Ana Matronic got so carried away with the Jim Henson-inspired shenanigans that she dressed up as Big Bird’s kid sister. This performance had the lot – a patch of singing melons, a crooning barn, a rockin’ fence and a couple of disco eggs. Not to be outdone, gorgeous Jake Shears closed the song by flinging open a pair of sparkly wings. Sublime.
Steps, Billie, B*Witched, Cleopatra, Tina Cousins -Abba Tribute (1999)
With Steps ruling the album charts during the late 90s, it would have been rude not to invite them along to the Brits. And so Claire and the gang made their distinctive (skid)mark on the show by paying homage to ABBA, the ancient musical combo that had inspired their poptastic sounds. But trash fans were in for a real treat, because joining them on stage for a deliciously camp medley were a bewigged B*Witched, who looked only too happy to be there, a raven-haired post-Top Ten Billie Piper, who looked like she wanted to be somewhere else, girlband Cleopatra, who resembled three overly-polished golden Buddhas, and dance diva Tina Cousins who, er, gate-crashed in a silver trouser suit. With a joyous pop production courtesy of Pete Waterman’s most capable knob-twiddlers, the performance was the trashiest, tackiest most ridiculous musical moment in Brit Award history. More please!
Geri Halliwell – Bag It Up! (2000)
In the same year that the Geri-free Spice Girls closed the Brits with a lifetime achievement award and a lacklustre performance of a handful of early hits, it was their former member Geri who stole the show with a jaw dropping rendition of Bag It Up! While her old gal pals waddled around in front of giant letters spelling S.P.I.C.E. (in case you’d forgotten who they were!) Geri, if you please, brazenly emerged newborn-like from between a pair of giant lady’s legs that were heaved apart by an army of topless hunks. Crowned by golden curls that looked like they’d been ripped off the head of a musical mermaid, Geri bumped and grinded across the stage as her buff boys ripped off their trousers to reveal teeny tiny pink trunks. ‘Who’s wearing the trousers now?’ she hoarsely demanded at one point. Oh Geri, you most certainly were, you wonderful pop pixie, you. Come back, Hazza, all is forgiven!
Kylie Minogue – Can’t Get You Out Of My Head (2002)
Arriving on stage upon a giant CD, in a skimpy white dress and knee high silver boots, Kylie was the stuff of gay wet dreams. What self-respecting homosexual didn’t want to hop on stage and throw those swooping butt moves Kylie demonstrated so elegantly, whilst backed by a gaggle of faceless Doctor Who aliens? Sexy, provocative and super-gay, it remains a classic Brit Awards performance, unmatched by any other pop diva since. Until, that is, Madonna’s Brit Awards comeback tonight? We’ll see…