Real Bodies: “I’m doing this for the older generation’

We’re taking our popular ‘Real Bodies’ column online! Each month in the print version of Attitude, one fearless reader strips down to his pants and answers questions about his body: What does he like about it? What does he want to change? How has it changed over time, and how does he use it? First up: Please give Darren a big round of applause…

Darren Merchant, 43, Sales Administrator

6ft, 11.4 stone (159.6 pounds)

Why I’m doing this

I thought doing ‘Real Bodies’ would be something different, a little challenge for myself. I wanted to push my limits. I’m doing this today for the older generation. We don’t always get a look in. My body has changed a lot – I was heavier when I was younger – so it’s an acknowledgment of that.

Diet

I try to be as healthy as I can and I think my diet is actually pretty decent. I will always have a protein breakfast in the morning. I’ll eat a salad at lunch and dinner is usually something along the lines of tuna and jacket potatoes.

Guilty pleasures

I like the odd glass of wine and I like pizza. Sometimes Ben & Jerry’s ice cream too – two for 4 pound deals are hard to pass up!

Manscaping

I trim. I use a trimmer to trim my chest mostly as I think it just makes it cleaner. I wouldn’t shave or wax my legs or anything like that. I think guys should be guys. Of course, I give the pubic area a trim as well; that kind of goes without saying.

Top body product

I can’t remember the exact name of it but I’m using a Boots moisturiser at the moment, which I use daily. I always moisturise straight after the shower when I’m at the gym just to make sure my skin is clean and fresh after the workout and hot shower.

Clothes

I dress to fit my shape. I like slim jeans, quite a relaxed look. I like t-shirts and polo-shirts. I pay more attention to how I dress now that I’ve lost weight.

Ideal man

I guess it would be Dan Osborne, the guy from TOWIE. He’s got a really good body. His build is great in that he’s not overly muscly but he’s not skinny either; a perfect middle-ground so to speak. I wouldn’t complain about looking like him… Or being with him.

Quick questions

Do you feel that there’s pressure on gay men to look great from porn and dating apps?

People definitely look for certain things when it comes to online dating and dating apps. Guys almost have a ‘character’ of what they want already built up in their head, and they expect guys to fit this mould. People tick off things like ‘the ideal six pack’. In my own experience using them, it has come down to age and older guys usually wanting to date 19/20-year-olds. As a community we are rather fascinated with the physical appearance.

Would you post shirtless selfies or anything similar to this on social media?

I have done. Mostly on Instagram, but yeah, I have posted one or two. It’s not something I do regularly though. I was bigger when I was younger so it’s more for my own self-esteem.

Has your body image impacted on your sex life?

I would have to say it has. It’s definitely improving since I’ve lost the weight and started going to the gym.

Do you feel comfortable naked?

No, not at all.

Have you struggled with accepting your body image?

I think if you join a gym, it’s definitely good for both your physical and mental health. Setting yourself these goals and achieving them are essential to realising this and growing
to accept your body. In my case, I wasn’t happy with how I looked so by taking that first step and joining a gym it helped transform my body image and how I viewed myself.

What do you find more terrifying? Going out on the gay scene or going to the gym?

The gay scene, definitely. At the gym you can whack your iPod on and ignore everybody but that’s not the case on the scene.