Charlie McDonnell is ‘excited’ by life as she returns to YouTube
After leaving YouTube in 2019, Charlie McDonnell is back.
The YouTuber, Charlie McDonnell, has said she’s “excited” by life as she made her return to YouTube this week.
McDonnell, 32, who uses she/they pronouns and identifies as a trans woman and bisexual, is also known by the YouTube username ‘charlieissocoollike.’ She was the first UK vlogger to reach 1 million subscribers.
After posting a gender reveal on Instagram in October McDonnell returned to YouTube on Thursday (19 January) with a fan Q&A.
They posted a video called: ‘What happened to charlieissocoollike? | A Reintroduction Q&A’
They made light of their return and joked that “the elephant in the room” was: “I got bangs”. They then confirmed they are a transgender woman, their pronouns, and that they would continue to use the name ‘Charlie’.
McDonnel also confirmed she is still living in Toronto, Canada, where she’s been for around five and a half years.
“I have done a lot of work”
As well as touching on their bisexuality, their love of Doctor Who, and music making, McDonnell revealed that their public persona stopped them from embracing their identity.
“I stopped making YouTube videos because making them made me feel unhappy. And when I decided I was going to leave YouTube the reason that I gave people was I felt like I came up with this internet persona – charlieissocoollike – when I was 16 years old.
“Clearly, I was not that person and so I felt like it was really beneficial to me, to take this big step away from YouTube to be able able to really figure out who the hell I am. And I have done a lot of work on that,” she said with a small chuckle.
She then said not having to worry about being charlieissocoollike gave her space “to figure out who I actually am.”
Having done that work, McDonnell said coming back to YouTube felt ok because she could be her true self. “That is actually exciting.” This, she added, is something she couldn’t imagine for some time because of how it made her unhappy.
“It’s ok to change”
Asked why they deleted their old videos McDonnell explained that while coming out publicly as trans, “It was important to me to make sure that any internet space that I had control over presented me as the person I am now in the gender identity that I have.”
This led them to remove images on social media where they were male-presenting. On YouTube they turned videos private.
Recognising her follower’s love of the old videos McDonnel added, “I haven’t decided what to do on this front yet,” and that she’s considering making them unlisted so people can watch them.
“For me, I didn’t want them to be the thing that people saw when they googled my name. I just hope people will respect that decision,” McDonnell also said.
“I feel like I’m in it now”
The last question McDonnell answered is: “How are you?”
In response, she said: “I’m doing good.” She then said, “I’m feeling more confident than I ever have. I’m feeling happy and I’m not going to pretend that life is easy, but I’m excited by my life right now. I feel like I’m living my life right now.
“I didn’t feel like I was really there for it before, and I feel like I’m in it now. I’m present, and that feels pretty good, man.” With a big sigh she revealed she hadn’t thought about how to answer the last question before giving her response.
McDonnell’s fans have since filled the comments with love, congratulations, and validation. Many were happy to see McDonnell back online after time away.
One person touchingly wrote: “A lonely teenage girl in 2010 found your videos and felt like you could be her only friend in the world.” They then said: “Now I am 29 and you still have that sacred place in my heart. I am very proud of you and happy that you are becoming yourself.”
Someone else said: “This feels like meeting up with an old childhood friend where we haven’t spoken for in years!”
Watch the full video below: