Joe Lycett perfectly dismantles Suella Braverman immigration views
Is "Padam padam" the new "xoxo"?
He’s done it again. Joe Lycett has proved he’s political satire-pro with the perfect dismantling of Suella Braverman over her views on immigration.
Last week the UK’s Home Secretary stirred controversy when she said “being gay” shouldn’t be enough to qualify for asylum. She also said the same goes for being a woman. Braverman later doubled down while also claiming that people falsely claim to be gay to seek asylum.
This caused outrage with many condemning Braverman for her anti-LGBTQ stance. It also led to a protest against her views over the weekend.
On Wednesday (4 October) Joe Lycett provided his contribution to the situation with a letter to Braverman.
“I have been investigating fake gays for years” – Joe Lycett
Posting said letter on X, formerly Twitter, Lycett began by addressing the “urgent matter” of people pretending to be gay. He intentionally (we believe) used a homophobic slur to hammer home his point.
“I too am disgusted by men pretending to be gay and think we should weed out this scourge from our society,” he went on to write.
Lycett goes on to mention that he has devised a plan to tackle the ‘problem’.
“All immigrants will be excluded from the United Kingdom UNLESS they can prove that they are gay (to me). With my newly registered company Homo Hunters, I will spearhead this project to reduce the bumbardment [sic] of immigrants and enmesh our island with foreign homosexuals.”
Continuing on Lycett jabs further at the Conservative government over “unimportant” PPE contracts and the issue of school safety joking that he knows “expects the companies they work with to have long term, actual experience in their field.”
He then wrote: “I have been investigating fake gays for years, in real life but mainly on Instagram. A Moss Bros suit doesn’t get past me. Nor does an erect cock!”
Lycett further explains that the “ass-essement criteria” includes bringing people into the room with a Lady Gaga CD, a fleece from M&S Blue Harbour, and a naked twink.
“If the applicant tries to have sex with any of these things, they will be determined gay and warmly welcomed into the country. If they attempt to wear the M&S Blue Harbour fleece, mention crypto, VPNs or MMA, they will be inhumanely destroyed.”
“Padam padam” – Joe Lycett
Bringing his letter to a close Lycett said he was in awe of Braverman. Delivering perhaps his most stinging jabs he said: “Naysayers might froth that as the child of immigrants it seems strange that you would want to clamp down so ferociously on immigration, but I disagree with those woke likely-nonces: just because you or your family have benefited from a system doesn’t mean that system should not be smashed to bits.
“For example I am vehemently against people pretending to be gay simply to achieve a better life, despite that being exactly what I did to progress in showbusiness.”
Finally, he signed off with “Padam padam.”
It’s not the first time that Joe Lycett has taken aim at the Tory government via letter. In March he penned a letter to Liz Truss plotting her “route back to power.”
And last September he had then-Prime Minister, Liz Truss, in his sights as he trolled her over her leadership win. That followed him saying he was “actually very right wing,” while discussing Truss on TV.