Straight guy seeking gay sex with friend asks for advice: ‘Our bromance moments disarm me’
"Is it possible to be straight but to want to have sex with only one guy, who’s average looking, yet I find him impossibly attractive?"
A straight man contemplating having sex with his bisexual male friend has turned to the internet for advice.
Writing to an agony uncle, the man said: “I can’t stop thinking about having sex with a close friend of mine. And it’s weird because I’ve never, in my 23 years, been attracted to men before.”
The individual continued in his letter to Vice Italy: “I’ve even tried watching gay porn to understand my situation better, but I didn’t like it. At the same time, I feel almost too good when I’m around him – our bromance moments disarm me.”
“Is it possible to be straight but to want to have sex with only one guy, who’s average looking, yet I find him impossibly attractive?” the man added.
“Labels [like straight] are descriptive, not prescriptive”
In his 700+-word response to the correspondent, writer Vincenzo Ligresti said: “Heterosexuality is a label just like any other, it’s one you pick to define your sexuality for yourself and communicate it to the world. Basically, if you think of yourself as straight, you are – that’s completely valid.
“This [straight] label doesn’t automatically exclude your desire to have sex with a guy, since ‘labels are descriptive, not prescriptive,’ explains clinical psychologist Stefano Verza, who specialises in LGBTQ+ issues. In other words, the label only describes your reality, it doesn’t predict what’ll happen in practice in your life.”
In 2019, Jane Ward, author of the book, Not Gay – Sex between Straight White Men told Attitude: “In general, men are subject to a narrower set of expectations about sexual experimentation than women.
“There is a common belief, which comes from decades of flawed research in sexology and sociobiology, that men are either gay or straight and that even one sexual experience with another man is an indicator of a repressed gay identity.”
“Straight people are largely in denial about the complexity of the sexuality of straight men, which is why it was important to me to write Not Gay,” she added. “We need to educate young men that their sexuality is as flexible, and under their control, as the sexuality of girls and women.”