Suzi Ruffell on finding her voice as a ‘loudly gay’ comedian: ‘I tried hiding who I was’ (EXCLUSIVE)
This is a feature appearing in Attitude’s November/December 2026 issue
In January 1998, 12-year-old Suzi Ruffell watched Titanic and her life changed forever.
She loved the film so much she went to see it at the cinema six more times, but it wasn’t baby-faced Leonardo DiCaprio that had her hooked. Her crush was on his leading lady, Kate Winslet. Being a lesbian of a similar age, I can relate. Winslet was big news for closeted gay girls in the 90s and 2000s. As a comedian, it’s Ruffell’s job to alchemise personal trauma into comedy gold. She has written and riffed about her lesbian awakening, but how did she really feel when it dawned? “I was horrified,” is her heartbreaking reply. “I didn’t want to be different. I just wanted to fit in.”
Through my role as editor-in-chief of DIVA, I’ve met Ruffell many times before and she’s always warm, dapper and refreshingly frank. She explains that, as is true for many of us, embracing her sexuality was far from easy. Yet today she couldn’t be more out and proud. “Now, I love being a lesbian,” she says. “I think that has a lot to do with my friends and my wife. Having queer friends who see you is nourishing.” And her advice for anyone struggling with this stuff is clear: “There’s no right way to come out or be queer. Self-acceptance is a journey. Be kind to yourself.”
A dream of becoming a performer
Growing up in Portsmouth, Ruffell dreamed of becoming a performer. After training at London’s Academy of Live and Recorded Arts, she began pursuing stand-up in 2008. Her first gig? An open-mic night called The Lion’s Den. “I was utterly terrified,” she remembers. “It seemed to happen in a flash. I got a handful of laughs, but that was enough. I was addicted to the thrill.”
Initially, she resisted talking about her sexuality on stage. “I tried hiding who I was, but it never really worked. I am loudly gay even when I try to be quiet.” Since then, Ruffell has carved out a dazzling career as one of the UK’s leading comedians, providing joyful lesbian visibility in the mainstream.
She’s had sell-out shows, earned critical acclaim and done Live at the Apollo three times. “Walking through the haze underneath that famous sign feels very special indeed. It is a real nod from the industry,” she says of the experience. The first time she was booked for the iconic BBC programme was another deeply emotional moment. “I rang my mum and basically screamed down the phone. It felt like the 10 years of playing pubs, clubs and baring my soul at the Edinburgh Festival were leading to that moment.”
Learning to breathe
It takes years of consistent effort, not to mention talent, to reach this kind of professional high. “I am always in a hurry to keep moving, keep achieving, find my next creative project. I have now learned the breathing space between jobs is necessary fuel,” she says. “I have also found if you’re waiting for someone to give you permission, whether that be a production company, a channel or some suit with money, you might end up waiting forever. Finding ways to create on your own terms is very freeing.”
In 2025, Ruffell did just that when she published her first book, Am I Having Fun Now? Anxiety, Applause and Life’s Big Questions, Answered. Her riveting memoir addresses dilemmas such as “Has LGBTQ+ equality been achieved?” and “What is having it all and do I even want it?” The book was an instant Sunday Times Bestseller. “It was a very special moment when I found out. My wife and I opened some champagne at 3pm.”
In Am I Having Fun Now?, Ruffell shares what navigating life with anxiety has been like for her. She reflects, “I thought if I got enough success I would beat my anxiety. But it always sneaks back in. Making it my companion rather than my enemy has really helped. It comes, it goes, and that’s OK.”
An award winning comedian
Ruffell’s work often explores serious topics, like mental health and sexuality, with honesty and humour. On her hit podcast, Attitude Presents: Out with Suzi Ruffell, she has powerful conversations with LGBTQ+ guests, including trans activist Munroe Bergdorf, Heartstopper star Bradley Riches and drag legend Jinkx Monsoon. “Each conversation has been fascinating,” she says of the series. “I have learned that our community is a beautiful thing, that however different we are, our stories have parallels, and that people who live their truth, are willing to learn, forgive, listen and love are happier and hotter!”
A worthy winner of The Comedy Award at the Virgin Atlantic Attitude Awards 2026, in partnership with M&S and electrified by Polestar, Ruffell makes audiences – both queer and straight – laugh, think and feel less alone. When I ask how she’s feeling about this latest accolade, she grins, “I am so delighted. Younger Suz would be over the moon. Mainly just to be in a room with so many queer people. I never thought I would be this comfortable in my own skin.”
This feature appears in Attitude’s November/December 2026 issue.