Major spoilers ahoy! Don’t say you weren’t warned…
So! In the end there were no major surprises. As predicted long before Season 8 aired, Bob The Drag Queen (figuratively) beat off Naomi Smalls and Kim Chi to snatch the crown and one-hundred-thousand-dollar prize.
If we’re honest, Bob deserved the win. She’d won more challenges than any other queen and her final lipsynch this week was EVERYTHING. Her drag and makeup may not have been as polished as Kim Chi’s, but charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talented oozed from every pore.
The real winner of the night, however was Violet Chachki’s dress. I have no idea what it was supposed to be, but I know it was fierce and flawless in every way. Like, it had BUGS on it, and cobwebs and some sort of FLESH CROWN. Every one else fell in her shade, frankly. This is why that girl won last year.
Bob rightfully joins Ru’s legendary children and leaves us with the question of WHO IS COMING BACK FOR ALL-STARS 2. Here’s my predictions:
Chi Chi Devayne
Phi Phi O Hara
Sadly, Willam has clearly burned her bridges.
And so were sign off from Season 8, but before we go, here's my run down of the Top 5 Moments of this year’s show.
5) Nothing Really Matters…
Least of all a massive faux pas on the main stage. Thorgy Thor, Kim Chi, Derrick Barry and Naomi Smalls all thought they were being terribly clever by serving Madonna geisha realness. The producers, hilariously, let them all walk out identical outfits. The shade of it all. Next time, be really bold and go as ‘Swept Away’ Madonna. Truly shocking.
4) Hair raising…
After repeatedly being asked to do anything other than Britney on the Main Stage, Derrick conceded he might have to block out his boy eyebrows. The results were, shall we say, fucking terrifying.
3) Tears of a clown…
In a short season, it’s odd that a genuine highlight was celebrating RuPaul’s Drag Race herstory in the first episode by catching up with some stellar past contestants. All the winners were there: Bebe, Tyra, Raja, Sharon, Jinkx, Bianca and Violet. Except wai - that isn’t Bianca Del Rio? Nope, it’s a crap clown. Ouch. Guess that’s what you get for having a thriving career away from Ru.
2. Don’t Be Jealous…
Of their boogie. The best challenge by a mile this year was the hugely accomplished group lip-synch. A fresh take on classic RuPaul hits, the prissy Lady Bitches take on the Shady Bitches in a Pitch Perfect style acapella sing-off. Chi Chi stole the show with an upside-down twerk. Slay!
1) Oh there’s more…
Why’d I waste my time doing that? Bob The Drag Queen, as if there was any doubt, truly came into her own as Cookie in the bizarre Empire
spoof, RuCo’s Empire. Entering ‘purse first’, Bob dominated the scene, seemingly improvising pre-paid phones, stealing Naomi’s shoes and tipping drinks on corpses. ‘Oh you thirsty, bitch?’ Yes, Bob, we are always thirsty for more.
Words: Juno Dawson
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