***SO MANY SPOILERS***
OK, something is about to happen. We’re on episode seven and we only have six queens left. Assuming the run is the standard fourteen episodes, one is a recap and there are three girls in the finale – someone is coming back or we have a no elimination week. You mark my words: All is not as it seems.
That’s why it’s hard to be shocked about another ‘shocking’ elimination. I fell for Acid Betty, but I won’t be fooled again, Mama Ru!
The real shock, perhaps, comes in learning that all of the Pit Crew are BOBs - Big Old Bottoms. This is established in the annual Andrew Christian challenge in which the go-go dancers of West Hollywood find gainful daylight employment for one day a year. Based on a random fact, the queens must sort the muscle boys into the top or bottom bunk. All butt one are bottoms. What’s a girl to do? It’s a drought, let me tell you.
On to the maxi challenge! The queens are paired up to record party political broadcasts in which they must smear their partner. In a chilling flashback to Season 7, this means the queens sit around in the workroom writing in near silence for about ten minutes of the episode. Watercooler television, my friends. Must-see TV.
Thankfully, the results - when we finally see them - are well worth the wait. As ever, let’s take a look at each queen in turn...
Bob The Drag Queen (A-)
Let’s face it, in an acting or comedy challenge, no-one is going to beat Bob. She makes it look effortless. Her film was hysterical (“BJs for everyone…that’s Better Jobs for all”) and her assertion that Derrick eats babies was genius. Although her ‘whiteface’ clown was a bold satirical and political statement, it wasn’t the most polished runway look.
Derrick Barry (B)
Alle-loo! Sometimes it’s about letting go and getting ugly. Clearly being in the bottom two lit a fire under Derrick’s ass and she threw herself into this challenge. Both her Palin-esque politician, directing Bob to be the Child Catcher, and baby eating antics were on fleek. Not great, but a vast improvement.
Naomi Smalls (B+)
Another surprise. Based on her shiteous Snatch Game performance, I was convinced Naomi was DOOMED this week. However, her shade was the shadiest (taking a pop at Kim’s lisp! Way harsh, Tai!) and she was fairly amusing with her botox schtick. Her Raven inspired couture is sure to earn her a ‘toot’ from the woman herself. However, in a black and white challenge, I’m amazed she didn’t get read for having brown padding.
Kim Chi (B)
Another makeup win. Kim could be the best makeup artist Drag Race has ever had. Yes, it borders on ‘face paint’ rather than ‘makeup’, but if Drag Race has achieved anything over eight years, it’s expanding what we understand as the art of drag. I didn’t think Kim’s video was a bad as the judges made out. Her ‘no fats, no fems, no Asians’ satire actually cuts to the heart of a very nasty truth of the gay community – the casual racism, misogyny and body shaming so prevalent on the apps we use.
Chi Chi Devayne (C-)
OK, she looked like Tyson Beckford’s first time in drag, but at least her video had one funny joke (‘I’ll make sure all Americans have a pot to piss in and a window to throw it out of’). Oh it’s reality TV, they need a ‘story’ in there and Chi Chi’s rags to riches thing is the oldest one in the book. When it comes to a lipsynch, Chi Chi does not play.
Thorgy Thor (D)
I can’t imagine the fans will like this…but as mentioned, someone’s coming back and it’s probably Thorgy. That said, being wholly objective, she was the worst this week. In any other season, she’d have been fine, but the competition is turnt out this year - even Michelle said so. The problem with Thorgy is that she’s been red squirreled. Bear with me. We have a funny queen (Bob), we have a fashion queen (Naomi), we have a creative queen (Kim), so where does Thorgy fit? Needy queen? Girl, you did NOT look like Carrie Bradshaw, you looked like Six from Blossom. It’s a shame, because she truly gave it everything she had, but I strongly feel this is not the last we’ve seen of Thorgy Thor.
Next Time: It’s a book-inspired couture challenge paying homage to the much, much loved Strangers With Candy, judged by Amy and David Sedaris.
Words: Juno Dawson
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