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Gay youth pastor publishes teen suicide note on Twitter to urge people to love each other

Peter Delacroix was asked by the teenager's grandmother to post the note on social media

2018-05-08

A gay youth pastor has urged people to love each other after receiving a suicide note from a gay teenager.

Peter Delacroix decided to check his emails on Saturday after waking up early and he found an email from a teenager named Max and after realising it was a suicide note, Peter rushed to his home.

However, Max had already hanged himself and paramedics were able to resuscitate him.

After speaking with Max’ grandmother – his sole guardian - Peter struggled to follow her request to publish the suicide note on social media, but he eventually decided to do what she wanted.

In a series of tweets, Peter posted the note on Twitter which read: “Dear World

“You are ugly and dirty and you make me feel ugly and dirty. I have heard all my life that I am a sinner even though I love God and I like to think God loves me too.

“I’m sorry Jack that I didn’t kiss you that day. I’m sorry Pastor Pete but please don’t be sad. Mostly I’m sorry Gramma because I know you tried really hard to love me when no one else would. I’m sorry I let you all down. I’m sorry but I’m just tired of all the hate.

“I’m tired and want to sleep forever but maybe I will wake up in Heaven and there will be no hate there and only love. No one will call me bad names or hit me or remind me of my accidental place here.

“Everyday I watch the news and see the hate against people like me and I realize I have no future. This country I don’t recognize anymore hates me and makes laws to punish me just because I’m gay.

“They hate me because I love too much and love too wrong. I learned that my kind of love is bad. I heard it enough to believe it a long time ago.

“Everyday someone comes along that tells me that I am worthless and my love, how I love, who I love is an affront to God as if anyone truly knows God’s mind.

“I love beautiful things and I cry when they are gone. There is no more beauty left in the world. It has been replaced with this alien thing called hate. Bad people killed all the beautiful things. This is not a world I want to live in.

“This is my choice the only choice I was ever given and it is mine alone.

“I love you but I won’t miss any of this and I don’t think in the end I will be missed much at all in a world that looks at me like I’m something dirty they found on the bottom of their shoe.

“I’m sorry I was weak and that I loved too much.

“Max [sic]”

After posting the note, Peter wrote: “I really don't have much else to add to what happened, except just be kind to one another. Love one another. [sic]”