Eric Rutherford opens up about 'first love' who took his own life after feeling he 'aged out of community'

Eric Rutherford has opened up about his ex-boyfriend who committed suicide because he felt he had “aged out of the community”.

The 51-year-old IMG model joined psychotherapist Matthew Dempsey on his YouTube channel to discuss what it means to be a “daddy” and during their conversation – which was mainly light hearted – Rutherford opened up about his friend who committed suicide.

After confessing he had always been attracted to older men – despite now dating someone 17 years younger – Rutherford spoke about dating a 42 year old when he was 20 and although they ended, they remained friends until his untimely death.

He said: “When I was 20, I dated somebody who was 42.

“It was probably the first big love of my life. Which actually ended up being a sad story.

 

 

 

View this post on Instagram

Fantastic day with my great mate @richardbiedul who has created one of the best capsule collections I’ve seen or worn💙💙💙All inspired by the 1950’s and made for today, here are two of the pieces... a navy textured knit polo shirt and the high rise indigo denim pleat trousers #kingandtuckfieldxRB #🇬🇧 Thrilled to support my friends who ideate, create and produce their beautiful dreams. ❤️😎💭👍🏾

A post shared by eric rutherford (@mr.rutherford) on Jul 22, 2018 at 1:04pm PDT

“We broke up, but we remained friends for many, many years. He actually committed suicide, because he felt that he had aged out of the community.

“[He was in his] 60s maybe. He was wildly accomplished. Good-looking guy. Incredible friends.

“He felt invisible in this community and the culture. He wasn’t wanted.

“I, as a 51 year old, in certainly gay culture but in culture in general I am living my best life to the fullest.

“And I don’t have it all together by any means. And every day I still wake up, I’m curious. I want to learn more.

“I want to experience more. But I also embrace what I have done.”

Watch the full interview below: