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Colton Haynes shares hospital pictures as he opens up about mental health and addiction struggles

"I no longer want to project a curated life."

2019-08-20

Colton Haynes has opened up about his struggles with mental health and addiction while sharing a series of candid pictures of himself on Instagram.

The Arrow star, 31, explained he wanted to cut through the carefull-curated veneer of social media and show his "truth" as he continues his recovery from drug and alcohol addiction.

"I don’t want worrying about if I look hot or not on Instagram to be my legacy. I don’t want to skirt around the truth to please other people or to gain economic success," Haynes wrote alongside the snaps.

"I have far more important things to say than what magazine I just shot for or what tv show I’m a part of (Although I’m very thankful I still get to do what I love).

 
 
 
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Throwback. I don’t want worrying about if I look hot or not on Instagram to be my legacy. I don’t want to skirt around the truth to please other people or to gain economic success. I have far more important things to say than what magazine I just shot for or what tv show I’m a part of (Although I’m very thankful I still get to do what I love). I no longer want to project a curated life. I get immense joy when someone comes up to me & says that my willingness to open up about depression, anxiety, alcoholism, & addiction has helped them in some way. I’ve struggled the past year with trying to find my voice and where I fit in & that has been the most beautiful struggle I’ve ever had to go through. Worrying about what time to post on social media so I can maximize my likes or being mad at myself that I don’t look the same way I did when I was addicted to pills is a complete waste of why I was put on this earth. I’m posting these photos to let y’all in on my truth. I’m so grateful to be where I am now ( a year after these photos were taken) but man these times were dark. I’m a human being with flaws just like you. If ur in the middle of the dark times...I promise you it doesn’t have to last forever. Love y’all ❤️

A post shared by Colton Haynes (@coltonlhaynes) on

"I no longer want to project a curated life. I get immense joy when someone comes up to me & says that my willingness to open up about depression, anxiety, alcoholism, & addiction has helped them in some way.

"I’ve struggled the past year with trying to find my voice and where I fit in & that has been the most beautiful struggle I’ve ever had to go through."

He continued: "Worrying about what time to post on social media so I can maximize my likes or being mad at myself that I don’t look the same way I did when I was addicted to pills is a complete waste of why I was put on this earth.

"I’m posting these photos to let y’all in on my truth. I’m so grateful to be where I am now ( a year after these photos were taken) but man these times were dark. I’m a human being with flaws just like you.

 

Colton Haynes, shot by Leigh Keily exclusively for Attitude's 25th anniversary issue

"If your in the middle of the dark times...I promise you it doesn’t have to last forever. Love y’all."

Colton's heartfelt post comes after he spoke for the first time about his addiction issues in an interview with Attitude earlier this year, where the actor revealed his destructive use of substances spiralled into a life-threatening crisis following the death of his mother, Dana, from alcohol-related cirrhosis in March 2018, and his similtaneous split from his husband of six months, Jeff Leatham.

"I came out [as gay] and, in a way, my downward spiral started," he said at the time. "I felt extremely free but at the same time the amount of attention I was getting was making me spin out of control.

Colton Haynes, shot by Leigh Keily exclusively for Attitude's 25th anniversary issue

"I got married and that didn't work out. That was extremely public and heart-breaking, and right when that was going on, my mom died. 

"At that point I fell apart. My brain broke. I was doing a massive comedy for a studio, showed up to work and got fired on the first day. They said I looked as if I had 'dead in my eyes', and I did. 

"I got so heavily involved with drugs and alcohol to mask the amount of pain I was feeling that I couldn’t even make some decisions for myself. I was drowning in my own shit."